Our story picks up at the end of Homestuck proper. ACT 7 has just completed - the Genesis Frog has been born in the center of the alpha session's battlefield, and the door on the victory platform has transformed, allowing our heroes - John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, Jake, Roxy, Dirk, Karkat, Kanaya, Terezi, Calliope, and Dad Crocker - through into the new universe.
This new universe has been populated with the remains of EARTH-B, the iteration of Earth that the alpha kids originate from, still plastered in the remains of humanity and various Alternian colonies, dredged up from the receded seas.
Over the following days, Rose and Kanaya would visit Jake's iteration of the Pacific island, still covered in lususes and vegetation and still landmarked by a dormant volcano. John and Jane would immediately transplant their childhood houses from their planets to their old locales, right next to each other in Maple Ridge, Washington. It's here that the first Can Town is built - an aging town hall, desecrated in the image of former presidents Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J is consecrated. Dirk takes back the sword he gave to Roxy and uses it to decapitate a statue.
THE MAYOR takes his place inside the town hall, eager to resume his work as the MAYOR OF CAN TOWN.
We then follow Terezi as she travels through ruins, greeting Jane and GCATavrosprite in the ruins of a city, Jake on his island, and Rose as she wanders the desert before Terezi herself settles onto the roof of a building.
Jade places the four beta kid planets - the Land of Wind and Shade, the Land of Light and Rain, the Land of Heat and Clockwork, and the Land of Frost and Frogs - in orbit around the Earth, now christened "Earth-C".
We catch up to Act 7 with Aradia and Sollux just outside of the event horizon of the black hole that the dead Calliope created during said Act 7. Aradia "sees it all break apart", but hangs out around the black hole for just a little bit longer.
Jane and Karkat find themselves inside the ruins of a Betty Crocker corporate facility, and find imperial drones in stasis pods. Karkat is certain these drones must be destroyed. Jane is hesitant, but agrees.
We return to Terezi on the roof, and she blasts off into Paradox Space, traversing dream bubbles, following an ephemeral path in search of her Vriska. In the dreambubbles, we see the ghosts of Tavros, Nepeta, Feferi, and Damara before we get to the ghosts of (Vriska) and Terezi from the Game Over timeline, happily sitting on their own ephemeral paths which lead into the other's.
Terezi gives them a wistful look before following her path out of the dreambubble and stopping at the black hole, unable to follow the path any farther.
From there, we enter a character select. Rose wanders the desert, searching for the most suitable place for a Mother Grub to be hatched. Jade helps Jake settle in on the Pacific island, grilling him about his desire to self-isolate. Jane offers to help John clean up the remains of his house after Jade, isolated during the trip across the Yellow Yard, made an absolute mess of it. Roxy sets up a carapacian named KZ with a replicator - a restricted form of an alchemiter, and after making the most mid pizza ever, resolves to do better.
Karkat helps Dave set up his new role as assistant to the Mayor, running civil services in the town hall. He reveals that his assistant is Jack Noir, the one from the beta kids' universe, formerly known as Bec Noir. Dave thinks this is a terrible idea.
As Jane and John clean up the Egbert household, they stumble upon old art that Jade drew. In the nick of time, Jade shows up and takes it from them, squirreling it away. This only raises more questions for them, but it's not questions they'll get answered just yet.
Terezi, Rose and Calliope lay siege to the ruins of a 7/11. Calliope, unexperienced in Earth culture that wasn't in Homestuck, is overwhelmed by the variety and possibilities, even as most of the foodstuffs and products have gone bad after 5,000 years of waste. Rose reactivates a Slurpee machine and Terezi makes a terrible mistake. In her sugar slump, Terezi talks with Rose about her feelings. Rose invites her and Calliope to her house for a sleepover with Kanaya. Calliope declines the invite, choosing instead to bake bread with Roxy.
Jane, after a hard day's work of cleaning, leaves John's house to find GCat, formerly one of two parts of GCATavrosprite, wandering her hallways. She greets the wee beastie and then further stumbles upon Tavros's severed head. She freaks the fuck out and revives him. He's involved with Vriska in the dreambubbles, and has to get back. After calling Karkat so that he can figure out what to do about this, Jane falls asleep outside her bedroom.
She dreams of her 13th birthday. She's eagerly awaiting opening presents - too many to name here, all but one from the Betty Crocker corporation. The one gift not from BCCorp is striped with orange, white and pinks. She doesn't know what those colors represent. One such gift is a letter of acceptance to the Betty Crocker Corporation's All-Girls School for Future Female Success. She begins penning a response, and asks Roxy for feedback. As the illusion of the dreambubble fades, the memory shared in this scene is not Roxy's memory, but Meenah's.
Meenah confronts Jane, demanding that she, as her heiress, help Meenah dredge up memories and stories of the Alternian empire. Jane refuses, and Meenah takes the classical fuchsia-blood route out of this - combat with the heiress.
During the fight, Meenah slashes through Jane's strife specibus, denying her the use of the 2X3DENT. Denied her weaponry, Jane opts to run instead, but when she leaves her bedroom, she smacks directly into a wall with a painting of her Nanna, JUNE EGBERT on it. This is not her house. Lost and confused, she struggles to find a way to escape. Meenah follows her and they escape to the living area of what appears to be a single room in a high-rise apartment.
Jane attempts to fight back, first by using her Life powers to grow plants to stave her off, but when that fails because the plants she thought were real were actually synthetic, she wields her dad's hat against Meenah, who promptly crumples it. Out of options, she goes in for a hard tackle, pushing Meenah to the edge of the hallway where a cactus and bonsai pine tree are growing. Using these real plants, she grows the bonsai pine tree to full size and drops it on Meenah, catching the sun lamp and lighting it on fire. Meenah, now a little bit on fire, chases Jane out of the apartment and into the hallway. Strapped for moves once again, Jane weaponizes her sylladex, ejecting all the horseshit contents onto the floor, including the hand of Zazzerpan, a copy of the book Wise Guy, and the skulls of her consorts from Myststuck.
She replaces her recipe modus with the Sleuth modus, and equips a can of Barbasol, her item management systems now modeled after the system from Problem Sleuth. She then uses her Life powers to revive the consorts, who are then immediately hijacked by Meenah, who uses her access to the Nitram beast control powers to sit atop them like a throne. She leads a charge against Jane, and rams the consortmobile into a wall, cornering Jane at the top of a stairwell.
Jane angrily abdicates her role as the heiress to Crockercorp and throws the very explosive Barbasol into the fire, though by now the fire is too rampant for it to have a noticeable effect. The two stand there as the fire spreads, and Jane, finally out of options, takes a critical hit from Meenah. She is knocked down the stairs and falls out of the window of what is now confirmed to be a high-rise apartment in the middle of an unfamiliar city.
She lands in a field of sunflowers growing around a large white dome before she wakes up.
We then cut to Rose and Kanaya's sleepover with Terezi. While searching for one of the tools necessary for scute maintenance, Jasprosesprite^2 ambushes Rose, revealing that the sprites are slated for a cosmic execution now that the game is over, and that when she disperses, Rose will inherit her memories. She goes in for a hug, before zipping off to nowhere in specific to kick the bucket, leaving Rose covered in lint.
While that's happening, Kanaya and Terezi have a sort of fraught feelings jam about missing Vriska that ultimately ends with Kanaya offering her help to get Vriska to return should an opportunity arise.
Karkat then starts a memo, getting everyone on the same page with regards to the imminent deaths of the sprites. We check in with each sprite that's remaining. Davepeta is wandering the jungle on Hellmurder Island, Arquius is beating the snot out of the tricksterified Sawhoos and Zillywaves that Dirk had left over from the trickster episode - something which is still canon despite the timeline denying the existence of the fused sprites. It's John that has the worst case scenario - in their living room, they encounter the stuffed harlequin, as well as letters from Nannasprite. She's already gone.
The gang is morosely, preemptively eulogizing the sprites when Terezi reminds the group that Arquiusprite specifically is critically important to the finale of the story. Panicking, John starts to gather everyone to face Caliborn and Lord English. Everyone going in makes what could be their final goodbyes. Jane and Dave are shooting the shit. Terezi bemoans that she would have little to no impact on the final fight. Roxy inquires about any information that could be useful towards defeating Caliborn, but doesn't get anything of substance because of Calliope's frustration towards his behavior. Jade expresses her sorrow that once again, a romance she was excited to pursue has disappeared beneath her at the whims of the narrative. Dirk solemnly says goodbye to the auto-responder before John takes them "outside" - the space that exists outside of the comic.
After goofing around for longer than they should, they reenter the text of the comic at Act 6 Act 6 Act 4: Caliborn's Masterpiece, directly within Caliborn's sphere of control as an ascended author figure. Caliborn goes off about how much he loathes the protagonists, especially John, and how much he longs for his man-gaka sona. When the party arrives, Caliborn snaps his fingers, and assumes control.
It's revealed that Caliborn had grown substantially as an artist since he was last seen - his art is coherent and vaguely anime-styled, as he had hoped. The events of the masterpiece transpire exactly as they did in claymation - John, Rose, Dave and Jade are entrapped within the ultimate treasure, and the alpha session is left fighting Caliborn.
When they emerge, the second final battle is already in progress. Calliope's black hole has swallowed the green sun and started to consume paradox space, but the final blow to LE is yet to be inflicted. The kids join the fight alongside the army of dream bubble ghosts, including Meenah and Tavros. Things quickly take a turn for the dire: Rose is consumed in a beam of energy; Jade is fatally impaled on a shard of the void.
And then, compelled by an outside force, Caliborn scribbles all over his unfinished manga pages. He is kicked from the authorial seat by Vriska using her mind control powers. After she denies Caliborn his artistic victory, she's once again standing before English, ready to deploy the ultimate weapon, this time on neutral grounds - whatever happens, happens.
Vriska gives an abbreviated monologue before she deploys the Ultimate Weapon, which explodes immediately, killing her instantly, but freeing the kids trapped inside. The fight immediately breaks out into chaos - Rose attempts to drop meteors onto him, Jade wields the PLASMA CANNON effortlessly. Dave explodes like a shitty gif, but he's fine. Don't worry about it.
John, thrown into the past, uses this to his advantage to pull up the alpha session players, dropping them back into the fray before Jade and Roxy crush Lord English with a perfectly generic object, supposedly dealing a fatal blow but really just giving him an excuse to transform into his FINAL FORM, one he had drawn himself, just as the dregs of the army return, lead by Meenah and the squared-sprites.
In response, Yaoiborn brings in his backup - the Felt. Things quickly spiral out of control as Davepetasprite^2 duels Yaoiborn, sword against cane. Eventually Davepetasprite^2 deals the killing blow, and the kids zap themslves away, their duty complete, having watched the final fight happen.
Upon returning to Earth, the gang regroups and has a few minor conversations. Calliope gives them solace in the fact that the timeline is now safe. Dirk and Jake quabble about their relationship. Roxy and Jade talk about caring for carapacians. Dave, Sollux, Aradia, and Karkat have far and away the most meaningless one, discussing webcomics. How despicable.
John and Terezi have the most impactful one - John failed to return with Vriska in tow, and more damningly, doesn't seem to realize the gravity of the situation. Terezi, enraged, knocks John unconscious, before immediately regretting it.
From here John has two simultaneous dreams. In one, he meets Vriska in the dreambubbles, just outside a gigantic glass pyramid. She's clearly dead - as expected, and she's also palling around with Meenah still, even after the fight. The two stare each other down before Meenah strikes, another attempt to kill an heiress that finally succeeds, poofing John back into awakeness.
In the second, John dreams of being a prison warden. He dreams of locking up seemingly-random objects - we see Prospit, the Jack Noir doll, and a laptop covered in Vriska's blood, sitting atop a journal, all behind bars. As he continues through this hall, Karkat appears from thin air. John is SO excited to see him. He's so excited that John captchalogues him before someone unknown calls for him, leading him upstairs. He takes the elevator, and gets off into a room with a pentagram on the floor. When he exits the elevator, a gigantic bust of a RABBIT appears, blocking the door. This room also contains a CROW statue, a BLACK CAT statue, and a WHITE DOG statue. He then wakes up.
We then move to Calliope, who is out stargazing, watching the black hole. She has been for several hours now. Roxy interrupts her, and Calliope vents about how useless her knowledge of Sburb is to her now, and how useless she feels in comparison to the version of Calliope whose strength is on display in the sky.
Elsewhere, Rose is having a similar conversation with Dirk as he works on machining together new Sawtooth bodies. Their talk is about culture - it's about marriage. Rose, ever-possessed by the desire to perform narratives, wants to get married - but more specifically, she wants to perform the act of a marriage. The two have a back and forth about whether this is a good idea or not - Rose believes that even if it's not... it may be worth it. She asks Dirk to make a pair of rings for her, and he obliges.
In the middle of the night, Karkat draws Dave, Jade, and Aradia into the ruins of Earth-C to retrieve something he had found earlier in the day, while the kids were away fighting English. They pass through the remains of a city, one especially laden with troll culture - signs printed in Alternian text and crystalline hivestem infrastructure on full display. Dave finds some SBAHJ graffiti on a wall. Karkat reveals that he's found a hivestem - the kind of building that grows into apartments like the one Sollux lived in on Alternia - that was still alive. He gets Aradia and Jade to try and retrieve it safely, and Jade takes on the burden of researching it in the meantime.
Upon finding John unconscious and Terezi watching him, Jane takes it upon herself to interrogate what happened, embarrassing herself as she attempts a stunt to sit next to Terezi. Terezi finds Jane's interrogation to be extremely forward, paleways and Jane is caught off guard, having no experience in troll romance. This isn't enough to get her to cease her interrogation though, and Terezi spills some, but not all of the beans - her previous moirail, Vriska, is most certainly dead, and John had not been adequately careful with this information.
Terezi takes a stolen Faygo out and Jane admits that she never really knew Vriska, even though she feels indebted to her for saving her life, by removing the Crockercorp circuitry from her brains. This act of kindness combined with the vague tones of disgust and loathing that people speak about Vriska in don't add up, and she wishes to resolve these two things.
Terezi gives a very vague, wishy-washy answer about what Vriska means to her, which really just complicates things for Jane. Having had enough of this interrogation, Terezi decides to bail, but not before offering Jane the remaining Faygo. After Jane takes it, Terezi blasts off, and Jane is left staring longingly at the rim.
Having finished her discourses with Dirk, Rose returns to her home, sitting on her balcony as she attempts to make a ring model for Dirk. There's a lame joke about not knowing how to use Blender before she inevitably passes out. Kanaya finds her asleep outside in the morning, waking her up gently and making small talk about their nights. Rose, having sat on the couch, finds lint from Jasprosesprite^2, and while revisiting memories that she inherited from Jasprosesprite^2 when she dispersed, proposes.
This marks the end of ACT 1 ACT 1.
ACT 1 ACT 2 starts with Rose contacting Jade the next morning to confer about wedding things. Jade recounts Nanna's bleak stories of matrimony in the mid-20th century as she takes care of plants Jane grew for her - sunflowers, chrysanthemums, carnations, and acanthuses, as well as a strawberry vine which Jade named Fredmint. Jade doesn't take the idea of the wedding well - she has concerns, but not enough to object.
Simultaneously, Karkat enters work, greeting his coworker Jack, and finds himself in the position of resolving a truly boring issue: a child carapace named KZ dug a big hole near another carapacian's can. He tells himself not everything has to be a federal fucking issue as he summons Jade to fill the hole. As soon as that's done, gets the same conference from Kanaya, with a large amount of confusion as to what human society even really was.
John finally wakes up after being made unconscious by Terezi, and we get to see some old messages between him and Terezi, him and Jane, and him and Karkat. Terezi and John bicker about 100% completion on Wind Waker, before Terezi apologizes for knocking his lights out. Jane and John trade memes of Dad Crocker, before Jane mentions that she brought him inside. And Karkat demands John join the new memo.
This wedding memo is off to a great start by the time John joins - the channel organizing it has been deleted and remade once already because Rose and Kanaya are more invested in trolling Karkat than maintaining the surprise. Eventually everyone pours in and is given a timescale: the wedding is in 3 days, and everyone is invited on the condition that they make a complete spectacle of themselves. (Obviously, the trolls don't really know what to make of this.)
The first person to be recruited as labor is Dave. Rose picks him as a DJ and a rabbi and informs him of this while he wanders the remains of an Olive Garden. Inside the Olive Garden, he finds the remains of a Crockercorp lab - except this time, the machinery inside is alive. Dave is ambushed and blasted by a sentry worm, but he's fine. Don't worry about it. The two are casual about it - Dave decapitates the sentry worm and keeps the severed head.
During this, Rose is picking music for her ceremony while outside, Sawtooth delivers a message: Kanaya is to meet Dirk... whenever. He is strangely not pushy about this, even though he put a buster sword through her roof.
Day 2 begins with Tavros having been trapped inside Jane's room since before she left for the English fight. He was held there by GCat, who he is horrifically allergic to. He eventually gives up and breaks and enters to Jane's computer, messaging for Jake to pick him up. Jake finally gets off his ass in service of having a bro who he knows likes him in town, and arrives in Can Town. He gets Tavros out of Jane's room and takes care of GCat, who he attempts to rename to one of the many cats from the musical Cats when Jane arrives home for the first time in several days. Jane takes this normally, that is to say: she melts all the way the fuck down. She takes a sip of the Faygo Terezi gives her.
John isn't faring much better - given an opportunity to put together a look, he fails over and over, sorting through clothes he had been given, each one feeling as though it's strangling him as he was in the dream he had the night before. There's only one solution for not having any fancy clothes: an alchemy binge. He calls Jade to set up an alchemiter, something that had needed to be rebuilt since it was destroyed during the bonus comic Birthday Train, which has happened at some point since this comic started. It's ambiguous. It doesn't matter so much.
Dave, too, is not faring much better - he is playing with the sentry worm head when his door opens. He chucks the head at the intruder and Dave from the future catches it. Future Dave reveals that Dave will not just be doing the DJing and ministering for this wedding, but everything that needs to be done, via time travel. Future Dave takes the sentry worm head.
Jane, still post-meltdown, has begun redecorating her room after Tavros ceased dying in it. She waxes nostalgic for her fond and completely earnest interest in characters like Doctor Manhattan, Ron Swanson, and Tobias Funke. She throws away the wall Tobias, incinerating it. She also throws away the BAKING CHEST, but it's too big to fit in the incinerator, so it goes outside. As she sits in her now-empty room, she interrogates what kind of men she feels attracted to. Eventually... she comes up blank. Maybe she doesn't like men at all. She goes to ask Rose, the assumed expert, and Rose immediately saddles her with a task: would the heiress to the Crocker corporation, queen of baked goods, her honorable pastry, consider catering for her party? Obviously Jane, ever the people-pleaser, accepts.
Making good on his request, Kanaya then visits Dirk. She catches Dave on the exit, as he leaves a chest with the wedding bands inside it for Dirk to do metallurgy stuff to. It's here that Dirk subjects Kanaya to the worst bit anyone's ever conceived of: unironically making a suitor ask for permission to marry his daughter. This is facetious, of course, but through this Dirk does his best to inform Kanaya on the history of various wedding traditions. Kanaya does her best to shoot holes in them on the back of them being fucking stupid. Once they both agree that it's stupid, she gives him the W by asking anyway, and Dirk takes it before asking her to return the dad cosplay he had been wearing to Jane.
We revisit Jane as she attempts to cook and fails - she has failed everything from chocolate cake, to red velvet cake from a box, to strawberry shortcakes, to cranberry sauce, and nothing is coming up right. She asks Terezi if her tastebuds had been fried, and gets no response. She gives up and gets up the gumption to tell Rose that she can't bring herself to do anymore cooking, and Rose takes this effortlessly.
After all, a solution fell into her lap, as though it was predestined. A fleet of Daves, each themed around a various costume and persona Andre 3000 adopted in the music video for Hey Ya! arrive and start their work, including delivering Kanaya for their first rehearsal. It's here that Rose waffles just a bit on the nature of their wedding - she is Jewish, and wishes to participate in a Jewish wedding unironically. But this is the first she's ever truly acknowledged this fact of her own will. So it's complex.
Jade, having been up all night, has been studying crystallography. She's emptied out the coffee machine from the meteor and has been keeping the hivestem in there. She looks over her notes and what she's learned - very little beyond its structural anatomy, though it's only been a few days - and realizes that she has completely lost track of what day it is. She runs to the alchemiter she set up and invites people along.
Upon arriving at the alchemiter, she finds John having already done his fair share of alchemizing - several failed couches to lay upon, several failed hammers, various Barbasol contraptions, a harness for a consort to hover in. Various dumb outfits, none of which are suitable for a wedding. Most notably, Fruit Gushers taste exactly the same when alchemized, which proves Roxy's hypothesis about alchemizing food wrong. Or does it?
Worried since it seems as though he's been alchemizing nonstop the moment that Jade set it up, she interrogates how John's feeling. He's still thinking about the dream, but is dealing with it fine - after all, he's not distressed or anything. He's fine! Jade then alchemizes some coffee in a loving display of manual alchemy not seen since Act 4, and the alchemy binge begins.
Jade makes, in order: THE CLOAK OF THE MANTA RAY, a cape which allows you to breathe underwater, THE HARU-SPECS, divination glasses that aren't as good as the SOOTH SPECS, the RAZOR TWEETERS, a pair of headphones, the E-LITER 413K, an inkjet rifle, and stops when she attempts to combine the JOHNNYTOP and BEN STILLER'S SHADES. This produces a lunchtop bomb that spontaneously explodes, and John takes over.
John makes a SQUIDDLES ZOOBOOK, which comes with a FREE TIGER POSTER, before searching through his sylladex for stuff to use. Various Birthday Train items come up such as the ROBES OF AENDERSYN THE WISE, various recent things such as Nannasprite's letter to Jane, and various forgotten stuff, such as his dad's CAR and THE KARKAT FROM HIS DREAM.
Jade is naturally freaked out by this half-formed apparition of Karkat and immediately shifts into scientific thought mode. She attempts to combine him with a nearby CHAIR and gets no meaningful changes. Reminded of a similar mechanic, she pulls out her PICTIONARY MODUS and attempts to draw GHOST IMAGE OF KARKAT. However, when presented with the ghost image, the modus continually reinterprets these drawings incorrectly. Certain that Jade is just drawing wrong, John attempts to take the modus and draw Karkat himself. The two bicker over it before Jade lets go of the tablet, launching John backwards as Jane walks in and the dream Karkat fades. Jane quickly decides this conflict is stupid and would like to get things back on track.
Jane quickly alchemizes together a very plain SUNDAY'S BEST, from a dress and her Life aspect robes. She's not thrilled, but it is what it is. John attempts to throw a similar outfit together and produces a similarly less than stellar result, the suspenders on the outfit doing just as much to weigh him down as the ties he rejected the day before. Clearly, neither are happy with these outfits and they inevitably decide to switch.
Jade is thrilled by this, and John's laissez-faire attitude towards this gendered clothing is refreshing. Recognizing an opportunity to be helpful, Jade begins walking John through her process of coming out, something John doesn't seem to see the need to do. Jade's manic energy quickly crashes when John isn't obviously receptive to it, and when John brings up Davesprite, she gives in and stops keeping the secret she had been keeping this whole comic: her Davesprite was a trans woman. She remembers how Davesprite had been keeping it secret, but was too worried not about hostility, but about it changing how others saw her, and recognizes the same in John, and backs off. She bounces back quickly when she draws up her wedding outfit and like clockwork, the ghost image is read as a giant robot. Jane asks if either Jade or John had seen Terezi since that night and neither say they have. John gives Nanna's letter to Jane.
Hours before the ceremony, Karkat types up a new journal memo, limited just to himself. Begging for anyone from the future to tell him what's going on there, he rambles to himself, keeping himself updated. Can Town project is going nicely - or at the very least, it's satisfying to him. His relationship with Dave is quiet, his relationship with Terezi was so noxious that it had to be retconned out of the story. Jack is a good coworker, and he questions why Jack is so able to be chill even after he had gone on his murder spree. Jake had moved back into Can Town, sharing a can with Tavros. He bemoans the reconstruction of the patron troll dynamics and pokes fun at the idea that his patronship with Jade could have been anything substantial.
Eventually, he gives up and recognizes nobody from the future is going to talk to him, until he turns the time travel button back on. From there, it's anyone's game. Future Karkat tells him that he's a stupid piece of shit and that Gamzee is the reason that Terezi's shit went so bad in the Game Over timeline, and that he was so hellbent on redeeming Gamzee that all the red flags just blazed on by, and now he's doing the same with Jack.
But then it's time to go.
Outside the edge of the black hole, Terezi messages Vriska. She monologues to her, unsure if Vriska's even receiving her messages. She's certain that Vriska is off doing something better, something more important, or maybe things are just too tepid and meandering on Earth-C for her to bother with. She kind of agrees. She finds Rose detestable for this. She revisits some of her FLARP storylines, about Mindfang being imprisoned, and the ways that was always undone. There's no dreambubbles left for her to look through, and only one place Vriska could certainly be - a place that will kill Terezi if she enters. She reaches out anyway, and before she can be swallowed, Jane grabs her hand, bringing her back to Earth-C.
The two land atop Rose's house, and the ceremony begins. It goes well - nobody catches the flowers, but that's just superstition. It's only once the group gives speeches that things heat up. Nobody's prepared, except Rose, whose speech gets under Terezi's skin, and Terezi starts a fight.
The two duke it out, bringing their best before Terezi bails, slamming a puzzlebarrier down behind her. Rose abbreviates her speech and ushers everyone out of the wedding hall and the bad vibes it now holds. She locks herself in her room after this, seething as she realizes that she's become the villain of this arc. From there, Dirk attempts to get himself in a position to spend time with Jake via a plan that goes awry when Jane has a burst of emotional clarity, apologizing profusely for the way she's treated Jake all these years. Jake takes it on the chin, but takes this as a freedom, one to hit up Dirk guilt-free. Dirk and Jake get back together as they strife atop the roof, beating the snot out of each other between conversations about Terminator and running dungeons together.
Dirk, recognizing his fatherly role after this, attempts to console Rose and fails quite badly. He tags in Roxy, who then eats shit as well when she realizes it's too similar to attempting to console her mother. After both mother and father have failed, Kanaya steps in and successfully talks Rose down by choosing not to fix her. She is who she is, and that's okay. This does not change how Kanaya feels. When Rose finally does calm down and leave her room, the last Dave is allowed to go free, finding Davesprite in the observatory on death's door.
Davesprite and Dave shoot the shit, talking intently about being Davepetasprite^2, memories Dave will inherit, and what exactly the Ultimate Self is - after all, there is some guy out there calling himself Ultimate Dave. He's a robot. That's weird. But it's all happening... somewhere else.
As Davesprite's clock runs down, she calls in Dave for a bro hug bump, and before the clock runs down, Davesprite chooses to disperse her memories early, giving up a physical form. Even now, with all the changes that make the two different, she and Dave are the same.
Davesprite leaves behind some tasks - one chest contains a piece of the solution to the puzzle, one chest contains Nepeta's severed head and another is the chest that Dave delivered to Dirk earlier in the act. He is then to go back and inform the first Dave of all of this, completing the loop and canonizing all these events.
Jane solves Terezi's puzzle, and reaches her on the balcony. The two shoot the shit, Jane leading off with the fact that she drank the Faygo Terezi gave her. Terezi reminisces about her ex from another timeline drinking it, and how she nearly died at his hands. Jane recognizes the same clown as the one that Vriska had warned her about and replaced in their only interaction. Terezi thanks Jane for saving her, and wonders how she found her, before Jane comes out to Terezi - she's a lesbian. She mourns her nonexistent relationship with Jake, who might be just as gay as her, she abandons the surname Crocker, and she mourns the guiding force of the tiaratop before she decides to split the remaining Faygo with Terezi.
The two pass the bottle between each other as Terezi takes her turn to vent, coming clean to herself and Jane about her open resentment of Rose and Kanaya, the lack of moral code to follow in a wasteland world, and the superficial similarities between John and Vriska, all while Jane stumbles through accidental innuendos.
As they run out of Faygo, Terezi pulls Jane into a kiss.
END OF ACT 1.
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