JADE: uh... have you been here a while?
JOHN: ... i think so?
JOHN: i kind of... lost track of time.
JOHN: it's been a long couple of days.
JADE: haha tell me about it.
JOHN: well it started with terezi punching the daylight out of me and i had a dream
JADE: you had a dream?
JOHN: in the dream i was like a warden in a prison?
JOHN: but the inmates weren't people they were like... a laptop? and prospit-
JOHN: and i went into an elevator to see someone calling for me and the elevator played a really tinny version of a green day song-
JOHN: and i felt like i was being choked out-
JOHN: and there was this big bunny head statue-
JADE: what do you think it means?
JOHN: i don't fucking know! you'd have to ask rose.
JADE: not what i mean!!!
JADE: i mean... if you didnt have a dream in a dreambubble then thats probably really important
JOHN: no i did.
JOHN: i had a dream in the bubbles too.
JOHN: vriska was there! i'm sure you know but... well it wasn't exactly nice to see her but it was... some thing.
JADE: ... explain?
JOHN: well you know we technically dated right?
JOHN: in some time line or another we definitely got together!
JADE: who hasnt hooked up with someone in an alternate timeline?
JADE: do you know how many doomed timelines there are?
JADE: but thats not what i mean!!!
JADE: i mean how did you have a normal dream and a dreambubble dream?
JOHN: i don't know. it's like i was dreaming at the same time as myself.
JADE: ... that sounds stupid
JOHN: okay maybe i can explain it in a different way
JADE: yes please put it nonliterally for me
JOHN: imagine youre on a high way
JOHN: and your exits coming up!
JOHN: and you just have to turn onto the exit
JOHN: but instead of turning you keep going like an idiot
JOHN: and as you turn back to see you missed your exit
JOHN: you see yourself in your car on that exit ramp
JADE: ... thats a worse explanation
JOHN: i don't care.
JOHN: what would rose even say about these dreams.
JADE: i dont know youd have to ask her
JOHN: she'd probably say something like "wow, it's really obvious you have a lot of issues with your dad!"
JOHN: you kind of hated the suit he gave you but its the last gift he ever gave you so you feel kind of obligated to treasure it as much as every other gift. even though those gifts were wrong for you too.
JOHN: because he could see the clown drawings on your walls but didn't care at all for some reason! he just thought you liked clowns!
JOHN: so it's all a game of trudging through gifts and building resentment for a version of yourself that doesn't exist outside of other peoples' perceptions of you even though you've never given them reason to doubt that image!
JOHN: and then she'd say something like "that's pretty kefkaesque"
JOHN: i don't know what the hell she means. i played final fantasy 6 and i don't even know what she means!
JOHN: but between you and me im tired all of the clown BULL SHIT
JADE: do you really feel that way?
JOHN: i hate clowns so fucking much jade.
JOHN: the clown hate pile doesn't stop from getting taller!
JADE: no i mean.
JOHN: no!!! i love my dad.
JOHN: i was just making up something i think rose would say.
JADE: well your impression of her is pretty awful! :P
JOHN: what would she know, anyway.
JOHN: all she ever does is read books and i don't know if she even enjoys it.
JOHN: every day it's all i hear!
JOHN: characters facts and themes. its all there is.
JADE: are you okay?
JOHN: my brain hurts!!!
JOHN: i've been doing alchemy for like 24 hours.
JOHN: and why'd you have to make it so we have to do alchemy the hard way???
JOHN: i dont even remember how to do this? i got a cruxite dowel and i didn't know what to do with it.
JADE: you put it on the totem lathe.
JOHN: i remember NOW but still!!!
JADE: i thought itd be nice!! XP
JADE: labor creates value you know
JADE: did you even name any of the stuff here?
JOHN: no, why would i?
JADE: it's like half of the fun!!!
JADE: like this hammer here. it's uh...
JADE: it looks like you made it out of one of jack's swords and a hammer.
JADE: so we could call it a REGISLAMMER.
JOHN: that sounds stupid.
JOHN: it's got a queen chess piece right there!
JOHN: how about... the queen's gambit?
JADE: how about we meet in the middle and call it...
JADE: the QUEEN'S SLAMBIT.
JOHN: that's moronic.
JOHN: it's perfect.
JOHN: but none of this stuff is even good!
JOHN: it's all garbage that doesn't deserve that kind of work.
JOHN: besides maybe the wind fish rug and the propeller harness!
JOHN: and the gushers... which are just as tasty as always despite what you and roxy were saying about alchemy!
JADE: i dont think thats a point in their favor
JADE: now can you step aside so i can make some coffee.