Burning Down the House

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] started a new channel: #WEDDING_CHAT --

CG: HEY IT'S MEMO TIME AGAIN, FUCKERS.

CG: THANKS TO KANAYA FOR LETTING ME START THIS ONE RIGHT.

CG: NO THANKS TO THE REST OF YOU.

CG: THE ONE DUTY I THINK I HAVE NAILED DOWN AND YOU ALL GO OFF AND MAKE A GROUP SERVER WITHOUT ME.

CG: LET'S START THIS ONE OFF RIGHT.

CG: HEY, EVERYONE, GUESS WHAT!

TT: What would that be?

CG: YOU DON'T GET TO GUESS, YOU ALREADY KNOW.

TT: Well that's no fun.

CG: GOOD.

GA: May I Guess

CG: YOU ALSO KNOW! IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D SAY THE TWO OF YOU ARE PURPOSEFULLY REACHING FOR MY HORNBEAST.

TT: ...your hornbeast?

GA: Getting Your Human "Goat"

TT: Karkat, you know the word "getting". You could have used that, it would have preserved the idiom when you mauled it to fit your troll vernacular.

CG: OKAY, FUCK ME I GUESS, CONSIDER THE HORNED BEAST FULLY ENSNARED.

CG: SOMEONE GUESS BEFORE I PUT THIS SHITHOLE CHANNEL OUT OF ITS MISERY AND THEN MYSELF OUT OF MY OWN MISERY.

TT: Are we getting married, Kanaya?

GA: Yes

CG: LKDFJHGLSKJHGLJKHGLDKFJGHFDLKJGHFDLKJGHFDGL;SDALKFD

CG: SDFJGHJLKHGAWSKLJSDFASDKLFJGD"GDFGDFSKHGAKLASFDDSAD

CG: ASJKHDLJKHRGERNMWMN<@#$#!NMFDGHJKDFLHNSAKLDJFDF

CG: WEJRWERMN>WEMNSDFGFDNGDJHGLKDJEQQWEMNMWNERWKD

CG: EAT SHIT.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] deleted the channel: #WEDDING_CHAT --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] made a new channel: #WEDDING_CHAT_2 --

CG: HEY, GUESS WHAT, ROSE AND KANAYA ARE GETTING MARRIED.

GG: i knew it! :D

CG: IT WAS GOING TO BE A FUN LITTLE MEOWBEAST AND PREY GAME.

CG: WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN!! HA HA. REMEMBER THAT, FUN? IN A MEMO? OBVIOUSLY I DON'T, BUT I IMAGINE ONE OF YOU MIGHT.

CG: UNFORTUNATELY THE BRIDES TO BE ARE PSYCHOPATHS WHO REVEL IN MY FUCKING MISERY.

CG: LIKE I'M A DANCING HUMAN MONKEY, AGITATED FOR THEIR ENJOYMENT.

GG: In their defense, you named the channel "wedding chat".

GG: And then the most stable couple among us both knew what the gist was.

GG: It doesn't necessarily take a master sleuth to suss out what that could be about! :B

CG: THE ONLY "SUSSING" TO BE DONE IS WHY I FUCKING BOTHER.

GG: i already knew too!

GG: rose told me earlier.

TT: I also knew.

TT: I wasn't expecting it so soon, but I did know.

TT: Right. I'll have schematics for you... eventually.

TT: I don't know how to use the software you lined up for me.

TT: Did you make the donut, at least?

TT: I did. It didn't look quite as good as I wanted.

TT: So I scrapped it.

TT: Make another donut, then, you'll learn.

CG: DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO LINE UP AND UNHEAP THEIR WASTESACS ONTO MY PLAN, OR AM I FREE TO STAND UP AND CHANGE CLOTHES?

TT: Since the cat is out of the bag, yes.

TT: I have begun planning a ceremony. While that aspect is perhaps a little bit self-indulgent, hopefully the reception that follows will be more generally indulgent.

TT: You are all, of course, invited, as well as the carapacians who we exiled, so many years in the past that it feels like lifetimes ago. The Mayor, Ms. Paint, PM, whichever two words those letters stand for, and Jack are all invited.

AT: wHAT'S A WEDDING,,,

AA: its like a betrothal ceremony

AT: oH, uH, LAME.

AT: wHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF,,

AT: aND WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING ALL US DOWN WITH YOU,,

TT: Shut it, you.

TT: The answer is simply, because we can.

TT: Do we need a better excuse than that?

AT: yES,

GT: Shush you!

GT: Of course wed have to schmooze and carrouse!

GT: Get gussied up as if were having a night on the town.

TA: if y0ure g0ing to build y0ur hive up can i jump 0ff it and g0 back t0 space

TA: 0r actually just jump 0ff in general

TA: i d0nt kn0w any 0f y0u and this s0unds sickening

TG: you know me

TA: and i wish i didnt.

AA: come now you have to be lonely just sitting there making terrible programs that do nothing all day

TA: im n0t l0nely

TT: Perhaps I need to put this in more... accessible terms.

TT: @everyone I am going to be throwing a party, and you're all invited, but only if you make a complete spectacle of yourself.

GG: I would love to join!

TA: 0k. that s0unds better.

TA: why didnt y0u lead with that

AA: there we go 0u0

AT: oK, nOW I AM GETTING IT,

TG: omggggg

TG: my girlies throwin a party....

TG: hold on

TG: jack like noir

TT: Yes.

TG: am i the only bitch on this earth whos not head over heels for jack noir all of a sudden

TT: Almost certainly.

TT: He's held himself to our standards for him since arriving, and he is welcome in the space so long as he continues to do so.

TT: But his story is woven with ours, and I feel it cruel to leave him out of the celebration of its finale.

TT: Are we all amenable to this?

EB: hold on, let me back read.

EB: i just woke up.

TT: Take your time.

EB: oh!

EB: congratulations!

TT: Thank you, John. Your resolve in this trying time is deeply appreciated.

GG: Oh jeez. Were we supposed to be congratulating you??

TT: It would not have gone unappreciated.

GG: Well, shoot, sorry. Congratulations! :B

TG: grats

TT: Thank you, both.

TT: Since we are uniquely privileged in this - the reduction of the labor necessary to put on a show like this into simple alchemy - I think just 3 days of preparation is enough.

TT: Then, when the night comes, I will build my house up into the sky, far out of the reach of those who'd be more inclined to deify us than reify us, and we can let loose.

Join memo.