Examine room.

You know yourself, and you know your room: you're JANE CROCKER!

You're a fairly unassuming girl who loves RATHER PEDESTRIAN JOKES, though they often go unappreciated by your friends. Even though they're both TOO NAIVE and TOO IRONY-POISONED, that doesn't stop you from floating them past them anyway. It helps that you really do these pranks and jokes for yourself more than you do others. Sometimes you have to MAKE YOURSELF LAUGH, if no one else. You also theoretically enjoy gardening, but as of late, your plants have been DISAPPEARING, and it's frustrating enough that if one more pumpkin disappears, you're going to flip the whole table.

You also enjoy DETECTIVE STORIES, both fictional and imaginary, but you're not afraid to dip your toes into STORIES ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAW. Whodunnits, howcatchems, film noirs and mafia, it all fascinates you. There's also a decent amount of NONCRIMINAL MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN that you just can't help but adore, but certainly, there are too many to name here.

Today, being your birthday, is the day you get to tear into the swathes of gifts from your FISHTERIOUS BENEFACTOR that have been piling in the corner of your room for almost 3 days now. It's not much of a secret who these gifts are from, but you respect the lack of pretense about it just as well.

What will you do?