Burning Down the House

DIRK: So question number one.

DIRK: Do you want to marry my ecto-daughter?

KANAYA: Plans Have Been In Motion For Days Now

DIRK: That's not what I asked.

KANAYA: So This Is What The Playing Field Is Like

DIRK: Indeed it is. Consider this the social equivalent of a pawn to e4. Direct, intentional, and opens up a whole-

KANAYA: I Do Not Care For Chess Metaphors

DIRK: Consider it the break then, pool balls are scattered across the table and ready to ricochet off of each other.

KANAYA: I Do Not Care For Table Stickball Metaphors Either

DIRK: Consider it session zero, in the tabletop roleplaying game we call life.

DIRK: Shit, you're really kneecapping me here.

KANAYA: I Am Pushing Your Metaphorical Buttons

DIRK: Well, I can see why Rose likes you.

DIRK: You still didn't answer my question, though.

KANAYA: Yes I Was Formulating My Answer

KANAYA: Because It Is Not A Simple One To Express Accurately

KANAYA: I Think Most Of All I Wish For Her To Be Happy

KANAYA: And Marriage Is An Extension Of This Feeling

DIRK: Respectable, very selfless of you.

KANAYA: Is It

DIRK: What are you getting in return, ceremony not withstanding?

DIRK: It seems like a 100% chance of you getting jack shit.

DIRK: Seems pretty fuckin' selfless to me.

KANAYA: Hm

KANAYA: It Is A Signifier Of Commitment Is It Not

KANAYA: Perhaps I Am Missing The Complete Meaning But The Idea Of Commitment Is Meaningful To Me

KANAYA: Regardless Of How It Manifests

KANAYA: Not That I Think Either Of Us Would Have An Issue With Opening The Relationship

KANAYA: Do Not Take That As A Proposition

DIRK: Trust me, there's literally fuck-all chance in any timeline, doomed or not, of me doing so.

DIRK: Aside from that, strong answer.

DIRK: Question two.

DIRK: You were going to raise the mother grub, yeah?

DIRK: What does that entail, socially speaking?

KANAYA: This Is Two Questions

DIRK: Take them one at a time then.

KANAYA: Its Still Something I Want To Do

KANAYA: It Bears The Resemblance Of A Lifes Work

KANAYA: But Trolls Are Testy Beings At The Best Of Times Biologically Speaking

KANAYA: Us Living Trolls Need To Adjust To Earth Before We Can Say It Is Good Or Cool to Bring Hypothetical Trolls And The Complexity They Embody To The New Universe

DIRK: Yeah, fuckin', understood. You're batting a thousand with answers here so let's crank up the heat.

DIRK: Question three.

DIRK: What's the wedding going to be like?

KANAYA: If I May Be Truthful With You

KANAYA: I Am Unsure

KANAYA: I Wish I Had Answers

KANAYA: I Cannot Say Whether Id Share Them With You

KANAYA: But Aside From Preparing An Outfit That I Am Quite Proud Of

KANAYA: I Am Woefully Out Of The Loop

KANAYA: That Being Said We Are Decorating Soon And Id Like To Get To That

KANAYA: We Share Many Memos And You Can Glean My Trollian Tag From There

KANAYA: My Typing Style Is Very Distinctive

KANAYA: So If Youd Care To Pass The Reins To Me

KANAYA: My Quote Lightning Round Unquote Only Has One Question For You

DIRK: Uh, sure. Hit me.

KANAYA: Do I Have Your Blessing To Marry Your Ectobiological Daughter

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