DIRK: So question number one.
DIRK: Do you want to marry my ecto-daughter?
KANAYA: Plans Have Been In Motion For Days Now
DIRK: That's not what I asked.
KANAYA: So This Is What The Playing Field Is Like
DIRK: Indeed it is. Consider this the social equivalent of a pawn to e4. Direct, intentional, and opens up a whole-
KANAYA: I Do Not Care For Chess Metaphors
DIRK: Consider it the break then, pool balls are scattered across the table and ready to ricochet off of each other.
KANAYA: I Do Not Care For Table Stickball Metaphors Either
DIRK: Consider it session zero, in the tabletop roleplaying game we call life.
DIRK: Shit, you're really kneecapping me here.
KANAYA: I Am Pushing Your Metaphorical Buttons
DIRK: Well, I can see why Rose likes you.
DIRK: You still didn't answer my question, though.
KANAYA: Yes I Was Formulating My Answer
KANAYA: Because It Is Not A Simple One To Express Accurately
KANAYA: I Think Most Of All I Wish For Her To Be Happy
KANAYA: And Marriage Is An Extension Of This Feeling
DIRK: Respectable, very selfless of you.
KANAYA: Is It
DIRK: What are you getting in return, ceremony not withstanding?
DIRK: It seems like a 100% chance of you getting jack shit.
DIRK: Seems pretty fuckin' selfless to me.
KANAYA: It Is A Signifier Of Commitment Is It Not
KANAYA: Perhaps I Am Missing The Complete Meaning But The Idea Of Commitment Is Meaningful To Me
KANAYA: Regardless Of How It Manifests
KANAYA: Not That I Think Either Of Us Would Have An Issue With Opening The Relationship
KANAYA: Do Not Take That As A Proposition
DIRK: Trust me, there's literally fuck-all chance in any timeline, doomed or not, of me doing so.
DIRK: Aside from that, strong answer.
DIRK: Question two.
DIRK: You were going to raise the mother grub, yeah?
DIRK: What does that entail, socially speaking?
KANAYA: This Is Two Questions
DIRK: Take them one at a time then.
KANAYA: Its Still Something I Want To Do
KANAYA: It Bears The Resemblance Of A Lifes Work
KANAYA: But Trolls Are Testy Beings At The Best Of Times Biologically Speaking
KANAYA: Us Living Trolls Need To Adjust To Earth Before We Can Say It Is Good Or Cool to Bring Hypothetical Trolls And The Complexity They Embody To The New Universe
DIRK: Yeah, fuckin', understood. You're batting a thousand with answers here so let's crank up the heat.
DIRK: Question three.
DIRK: What's the wedding going to be like?
KANAYA: If I May Be Truthful With You
KANAYA: I Am Unsure
KANAYA: I Wish I Had Answers
KANAYA: I Cannot Say Whether Id Share Them With You
KANAYA: But Aside From Preparing An Outfit That I Am Quite Proud Of
KANAYA: I Am Woefully Out Of The Loop
KANAYA: That Being Said We Are Decorating Soon And Id Like To Get To That
KANAYA: We Share Many Memos And You Can Glean My Trollian Tag From There
KANAYA: My Typing Style Is Very Distinctive
KANAYA: So If Youd Care To Pass The Reins To Me
KANAYA: My Quote Lightning Round Unquote Only Has One Question For You
DIRK: Uh, sure. Hit me.
KANAYA: Do I Have Your Blessing To Marry Your Ectobiological Daughter