Burning Down the House

DIRK: Do you know much about human traditions?

KANAYA: Not Particularly

DIRK: Well, damn.

DIRK: It's a fine day to get school fed up the bone bulge, then.

DIRK: You get to learn about one of the classics of human traditions.

DIRK: Asking your fiancee's dad for his blessing to marry his daughter.

KANAYA: Not To Immediately Poke Holes In Your Premise

KANAYA: Which Youve Clearly Prepared Yourself For

KANAYA: But Do I Need Permission For Something That Is Already In Progress

KANAYA: As I Understood It You Already Approve Of The Ceremony

KANAYA: And If You Do Not

KANAYA: It Is Not Your Call To Make And Your Opinion Is Irrelevant

DIRK: That's about identical to the path that humankind took on that.

DIRK: Good work on pathing through hundreds of years of human discourse in about 30 seconds, I'll test you next week on some other human traditions, like pulling apart breastbones of turkeys to grant wishes after they've been eaten.

KANAYA: I Say This Coming From A Culture That At One Point Made Grub Sauce From Real Babies

KANAYA: That Is Fucking Barbaric

DIRK: Is grub sauce... *not* baby trolls?

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: It Was At One Point

KANAYA: But After The Rebellion It Was Replaced With A Synthetic

KANAYA: As All The Adults Who Made It Were Shuttled Off Planet To Participate In The Alternian Expansion

KANAYA: And Having More Trolls Survive Was Of More Importance

DIRK: Damn, that's... dark.

KANAYA: It Cannot Be Helped

KANAYA: The Planet Is No More

KANAYA: Regarding Marriage However

KANAYA: This Is A Fairly Reasonable Position To Hold Is It Not

DIRK: Yup. Totally run of the mill.

DIRK: Took some getting there for most people, though.

KANAYA: So I Must Ask Then

KANAYA: If This Tradition Is Well And Truly Dead Even By Our Stunted Standards

KANAYA: Why Bother With It At All

DIRK: Why go through with a wedding, if there's no reward for doing so other than the enjoyment of having a wedding, and being married?

DIRK: Besides, a chance for a deeply ironic bit like this is once in a lifetime.

KANAYA: So This Is A Bit

DIRK: Yeah, was it not searingly fuckin' obvious?

DIRK: Must just rock the formal dad look so hard that it's seamless.

KANAYA: It Was Obviously A Bit But Its Nice To Have The Theory Confirmed

KANAYA: So We Return To Where We Began

KANAYA: What Is It That Makes This Torturous Procedure Necessary

DIRK: I'm gonna keep it real here.

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