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KARKAT: FIRST THINGS FIRST.
KARKAT: IT IS FUCKING ABHORRENT IN HERE.
KARKAT: THESE CHAIRS ARE FUCKING AWFUL. JUST, REALLY FUCKING ABYSMAL.
KARKAT: ESPECIALLY THE ONE WE GAVE THE MAYOR.
DAVE: hey now
DAVE: he wanted that one
KARKAT: DID HE? DID HE REALLY?
DAVE: yeah dog
DAVE: hes got his shit together and knows what hes about
KARKAT: IT'S JADE'S FUCKING GAMING RECLINING LEISURE DEVICE.
DAVE: you can just say gamer chair 
DAVE: the thing is that the man loves green shit 
KARKAT: FUCK, WE COULD MAKE HIM A SOLID URANIUM CHAIR IF HE WANTS IT.
DAVE: no way that shits super radioactive
KARKAT: AND THIS ISN'T? 
DAVE: literally no 
KARKAT: BUT IT PULSES WITH GAMER RADIATION. IT'S LIKE A GAMER'S TUSKBEAST STANDSTUMP.
DAVE: hold on 
DAVE: tuskbeast standstump 
DAVE: what the fuck 
KARKAT: A HUMAN ELEPHANT'S FOOT. 
DAVE: oh
DAVE: hold on more questions
KARKAT: NO QUESTIONS, UNLESS IT'S INTERROGATING THE WRETCHED GAMER CHAIR BEFORE US. 
KARKAT: IT'S GOT A FLUFFY FUCKING PILLOW AND EVERYTHING.
KARKAT: ARE THOSE FUCKING... SUBWOOFERS? IN HER CHAIR???
DAVE: theyre just regular speakers and theyre blown out anyway
KARKAT: JADE BLEW OUT SOME SPEAKERS. 
DAVE: apparently 
DAVE: but that shit doesnt matter like at all 
DAVE: the thing that matters is
DAVE: the mayor claimed it
DAVE: and the mayor gets what the mayor wants
KARKAT: I COULD NEVER, EVER OBJECT TO GIVING THIS DUDE THE WORLD.
KARKAT: I'M JUST SAYING IF WE'RE GOING TO BE WORKING HERE.
KARKAT: AND I AM. I'VE DECIDED.
KARKAT: WOULDN'T IT BE JUST A BIT BETTER TO DO THINGS RIGHT?
KARKAT: MAYBE NOT SET UP OUR FUCKING LEADER WITH A GAMER CHAIR?
DAVE: okay two things
DAVE: one
DAVE: its not like the clown iron throne that used to be here was gonna do
DAVE: that thing was a fucking death trap 
DAVE: we are not instating the mayor onto a seat of bicycle horns and assault rifles 
DAVE: also it was 120 beats per minute of clown bullshit
DAVE: two
DAVE: how do you get more right than a gamer chair for a gamer mayor
DAVE: actually three
DAVE: its just a chair
DAVE: get over it 
KARKAT: WAS YOUR QUEST BED JUST A BED?
KARKAT: WAS THE SILKSWADDLE YOU EXCRETE IN EVERY FUCKING DAY OVER GETTING YOUR WAY JUST A SILKSWADDLE?
KARKAT: BAD QUESTION, IF YOU HAD TO CARE ABOUT EVERY FUCKING SILKSWADDLE YOU RUINED YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TIME IN THE DAY FOR ME.
KARKAT: MY POINT IS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT I HAVE ONE, THE LESS OBNOXIOUS GAMER SHIT WE KEEP AROUND IN HERE THE BETTER.
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[ Before I met you baby, I didn't know what I was missing ]