Roxy: BLUH!

You can't even muster up a bluh for this one.

You're reconsidering the pizza maxim - it's awful, without even the nerve to deserve a bile fascination in how bad it is.

The crust is exhausting to chew through, the cheese resolidified before it had even hit your mouth, and the entirety of the toppings, all embedded in the cheese, came off at once, slopping down dry, chunky sauce onto your hoodie.

If this is the kind of pizza you'll be alchemizing for the rest of your life - an eternity - you had better figure out a way to make it not SUCK COMPLETE ASS.