Something something big fuck-off hole, something something disreputable use of scythes, something something digging up my plants...
This is lame. It isn't what you expected when you signed up for this.
You wanted to answer the questions that a world demands of its inhabitants better than those who came before you. To solve the big problems! To be a goddamn leader for once in your wretched life.
But things don't always have to be a federal fucking issue.