You are now DAVE STRIDER. You're just chilling, out in the alleyway behind the Homestuck bonus comics dancehall. You've been summoned here by the allure of... $15. That's what it cost to summon you here, and you're gonna make the most of it, goddamn it.
Inside, you can hear it. The MSPA donation comics. Looping in on themselves in extracanonical limbo...
Dave: Meet Spades Slick and have a fanboy freak-out.
The faint hum of chaotic, dissonant jazz buzzes against your ear. You wonder, just for a moment, what it'd be like on the inside for just a moment, to cut a rug with Hearts Boxcars. To chill out, with Clubs Deuce. Those guys were always your favorite.
> Just go in! What is there to worry about? You're practically canon.
You do just that, sneaking in and there he is... Problem Sleuth himself. The man, the myth, the legend. But he's not who you're really here to see - you're here to see.
DAVE: hey dogg i love your comic
DAVE: fondly regarding creation thats some classic shit right there
DAVE: anyway while were here in the extracanonical space
DAVE: just living in fucking content limbo
DAVE: mind pointing me to your shadow majjyked bros
> SS: Greet your adoring fan.
Bottom-feeding scumbags like this... breaking into your joint to kill the groove. You hate that kind of low-life. You look him over... probably doesn't even care for freeform jazz.
> SS: Teach him the nuances of the genre.
1002/1000 CLOCKS DESTROYED
> Dave: Turn out to be miraculously okay.