Nepeta, Aradia, Tavros, Eridan and Calliope: Play Dungeons and Dragons.

CALLIOPE: well i mUst say this is not the crew i expected to have with my first endeavoUr into dUngeon mastering.
CALLIOPE: i know a lot of yoU are acqUainted with flarp and the likes of that, so maybe the transition will be easy. bUt if yoU have any bUrning qUestions i'm glad to answer them!
CALLIOPE: bUt i'm glad yoU've all made it and Um. accepted me as your dUngeon master. U_U
ERIDAN: better you than vvriska
TAVROS: uH,
ARADIA: must we already go here
ERIDAN: no youre right ill just not talk about the trunkbeast in the respitank
ARADIA: youre right you wont 0u0
NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta giggles into her paw, swishing her tail* i've b33n eager to play since our game collapsed last time...
ARADIA: terezis a busy girl these days
NEPETA: :33 < i knooow its just sad. we were so close though! XPP
ARADIA: well reconvene next week you know
ARADIA: oh nepeta will you be playing leonel again
NEPETA: x33 < nooo! hes just a liddle boy.
NEPETA: :33 < he's not fit fur clawmbat!
ARADIA: you know my campaign will have combat in it eventually too yes
NEPETA: :33 < h33 h33. i know. but i know how you dm!
NEPETA: :33 < and no offense eridan but ive played with you before too.
NEPETA: X00 < and i dont want to have any wigglers die in this dnd game!!!
ARADIA: ehehe
ARADIA: then i suppose i will abstain from playing my characters and roll a new one as well
NEPETA: :OO < *her pupils widen* oooh! that's exciting.
TAVROS: oH, uHM, wERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO CHARACTER BUILDING NOW?
TAVROS: i PREPARED A LOT OF CHARACTER STUFF, LAST NIGHT, }:/
CALLIOPE: it trUly does not matter. we'll go over characters in detail in a moment.
TAVROS: aH, aLRIGHT, hM,
ERIDAN: wwell the dualscar lore is pretty rich
ERIDAN: i could play him again
ERIDAN: but reely speccing him into swwashbuckler might not be the BEST idea if wwevve got a big party
ERIDAN: reely more of a one on one class yknow
ERIDAN: i knoww dualscar better than mosta you but i SUPPOSE i will roll out a new character if i HAVE to
ERIDAN: by mosta you i mean just the dm
CALLIOPE: oh bUt i know all aboUt yoU, eridan ampora!
ERIDAN: .
CALLIOPE: worry not, i have no interest in shaming yoU.
CALLIOPE: a caring hand may be jUst what you need, after all!
CALLIOPE: and yes, i will obvioUsly be the dUngeon master, since i have the highest IMAGINATION.
CALLIOPE: that is, if nobody objects! ^U^
ARADIA: nope
TAVROS: yEAH, i'M READY,
CALLIOPE: i've prepared for this one, and i'm sUre my campaign will trUly be one for the ages!
CALLIOPE: if there are no objections, let's introdUce some characters!
CALLIOPE: who would like to go first?
ARADIA: i will!
ARADIA: my character is named stafyl mortem
ARADIA: they are a grave cleric
ARADIA: i think their demeanor is rather affected and aloof
ARADIA: more of a troll in the internet sense than a troll in the alternian sense
CALLIOPE: am i correct in assUming this character Uses they and them pronoUns? :U
ARADIA: yes 0u0
CALLIOPE: i will do my best to remember this.
CALLIOPE: shall we go clockwise then?
NEPETA: :00 < ill go next!!!
ARADIA: wonderful
NEPETA: :33 < so my clawracter is a troll too
NEPETA: :33 < shes a barbarian!
NEPETA: :33 < i don't have much for a purrsonality for her yet...
NEPETA: :33 < i think she could be boisterous and meowdy
NEPETA: :33 < a r33l classic brawler!
NEPETA: :33 < i think her name is. tigris. tigris fuscik.
CALLIOPE: ohhhhhhhhhhh. i am a trUe sUcker for a bUff girl. :U
NEPETA: :33 < aren't we all? :33
ERIDAN: not reely
NEPETA: :33 < jesus christ
ERIDAN: anywway im not playin dualscar since wwere all a buncha simperin fucken wwigglers wwho cant handle a morally grey character
NEPETA: :(( < thats not what i said at all!!!
NEPETA: :(( < *nepeta frowns, sulking*
ERIDAN: surprisin fuckin nobody wwith a devveloped think pan
ERIDAN: im playin a wwizard
ERIDAN: pretty impressivve build for bein built on such short notice
ERIDAN: but like i said you grublickers cant handle dualscar at his best so hes lackin in the personality department somewwhat
ERIDAN: his name is
ERIDAN: uhhh
ERIDAN: ediran
ERIDAN: slampora
CALLIOPE: i see. tavros?
TAVROS: sO I DID, a LOT MORE PREPARATION THAN I THINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO,
TAVROS: aND IT TURNS OUT WE HAVE TWO BRAWLERS,
TAVROS: bUT I THINK IT WILL BE OKAY BECAUSE, tHE TROLL I'M PLAYING
TAVROS: mY CHARACTER IS NAMED, uM, SEBASTIAN,
TAVROS: aND HE IS A PROTECTION FIGHTER, aND I THINK THAT'S FINE,
TAVROS: sINCE PROTECTION FIGHTERS ARE TANKIER, iN GENERAL,
TAVROS: aND HE IS,
TAVROS: dO YOU ALL REMEMBER TROLL PIRATE MOVIES, bEFORE TROLL JOHNNY DEPP, wHERE THERE WAS A ROMANTIC PIRATE HERO,
TAVROS: hE'S LIKE THAT,
ARADIA: oh very interesting
CALLIOPE: did yoU all make trolls?
ARADIA: yes it seems so
CALLIOPE: all the better for me, i'm not nearly as familiar with elves or orcs or the like... U_U
CALLIOPE: if we're all acqUainted then i'll switch over to my dUngeon master voice?
> Calliope: Begin.


the sun beats down upon you all. the party is in a wagon, pulled by horses. (though some of you may call them hoofbeasts.) in the front, there is an elf, with a map. you can see some prime locations marked out - eldervair, goldcliff, waterdeep, neverwinter, outglut. none particularly stick out to you, except one: the town you're heading into, the port town of porton. what is this wagon like, elf hireling aside?
stafyl is sitting next to this elf, pointing and saying things that are just flagrantly wrong about each location on the map.
STAFYL: did you know eldervair is actually circumstantially simultaneous with a small hick town?
STAFYL: also goldcliff's gold isn't even gold.
STAFYL: it's fool's gold! pyrite.
STAFYL: oh! oh, did you know there is a secret tunnel under neverwinter that leads to its sister city, alwayssummer?
the elf grimaces.
ARADIA: 0u0
NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta sits idly, her tail swiping the sides of the chair as she clawnsiders how much she wants to make her OC a hoofb33stgirl*
NEPETA: :33 < hrrm
NEPETA: :33 < i think tigris is driving these hoofb33sts.
NEPETA: :33 < just really getting in there and keeping them reined in
CALLIOPE: tavros, eridan?
ERIDAN: ediran is in the back
ERIDAN: practicin his cantrips and shit
ERIDAN: lifting shit off the ground wwith magic
ERIDAN: and tryin reely hard to cast fireball
TAVROS: yES, UM, SEBASTIAN IS ON THE TOP OF THE WAGON,
TAVROS: lOOKING OVER THE HILL AND JUST TAKING IN THE TOWN,
CALLIOPE: that's beaUtifUl.
the wagon arrives in town, and the group of you get off the wagon, and the elven hireling disappears into the crowd. the port town of porton is welcoming, and there's no shortage of things to do...