-- current ectoBiologist [CEB] started a channel: #the_final_fruity_rumpus_asshole_factory --
CEB: alright guys are you all ready?
CEB: i don't know why there's a current indicator by my name. 
CEB: nor do i know why i said that. there's no one here yet!
> Party's over. [current carcinoGeneticist [CCG]]'s here. 
CCG: WHY THE FUCK COULDN'T WE JUST USE TROLLIAN, JOHN.
CCG: I'M NOT EVEN GOING WITH, IF VRISKA'S PLANS WERE RIGHT. WHY AM I HERE?
CEB: plan for every contingency! and you're the one inheriting my stuff if we die :)
CCG: DON'T FUCKING DIE.
CCG: BUT I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD AND IN HELL ALREADY IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS APP MORE. 
CEB: deal with it. and turn off light mode if you haven't already. 
CEB: i can only imagine how much it hurts troll eyes :(
CCG: IF YOU SAY SO, GLORIOUS LEADER. 
CEB: here's an invite! send it to all your friends.
CEB: https://tinyurl.com/discord_invite_goes_here
CEB: though there's also no chance everyone you've sent it to hasn't already gotten it from me... 
CCG: I HAVE FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU, EGBERT. 
CEB: i'm so proud of you :)
CCG: I'M TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW, JUST SO YOU KNOW. 
CEB: i'd love to meet him! 
CCG: YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HIM. HE LIVES IN UH. OUTGLUT. YEAH.
CEB: oh i haven't thought about europe in so long.
> A wild [current gardenGnostic [CGG]] appeared!
CGG: why are we using this! it's so cringey :(
CEB: rose's request, sorry jade! 
CGG: its okay i guess
CGG: if rose said so anyway
CGG: at least they removed the gamer loading screens.
> [current tentacleTherapist [CTT]] is here, as the prophecy foretold. 
CTT: Yes, we're using this group chat software instead of Trollian because it's just better.
CTT: Do you remember how the cueball man used to get into our DMs? 
CEB: no?
CTT: Lucky you.
CGG: :(
> Welcome, [current gutsyGumshoe [CGG]]. We hope you brought pizza.
CGG: Oh shoot. 
CGG: Am I late?
CGG: no not at all!
CGG: early, i think
CGG: we're still missing a few folks. don't worry about it!
CTT: Hello Jane. 
CGG: Hello! 
CGG: Quite a cozy group of people here, hm?
CGG: yeah!!
> It's a bird! It's a plane! Nevermind, it's just [current turntechGodhead [CTG]]. 
CTG: sup
CCG: WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG.
CEB: hi dave! 
> It's dangerous to go alone, take [current tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]]!
CTG: sup
CGG: What took you so long? 
CEB: hi roxy! 
CTG: check this out
- current tipsyGnostalgic [TG] uploaded a file: lord_irwin.png --
CGG: Um.
CTT: What is this...?
CTG[dave]: is that caliborn as that annoyin nerd kid from a dead cartoon
CTG: fuck yeah it is
CGG: Why?
CTG: i dunno ! i got bored
CTG: sometimes u just gotta fuck around and draw dumb shit u kno
CTG[dave]: its inspiring 
CTG: haha thx 
CTG: glad SOMEONE appreciates my art
CEB: i think we just need jake and dirk now.
CTG: no we dont fuck thos guys 
CGG: You're RIGHT, we don't.
CEB: as much as i love dunking on our friends we do need them.
CTG: dont be a spoilsport john
> Welcome [current golgothasTerror [CGT]]. Leave your weapons by the door.
CGT: Righty-o then.
CGT: Is everyone chuffed for the punch-up to end all punch-ups?
CGT: Is everyone het up for the collie shangles? 
CTT: I wouldn't get "het up" if my life depended on it, Jake.  
CGG: Hoo hoo. :B
CGT: Augh you know what i mean! 
CEB: i don't...
> [current timaeusTestified [CTT] is here to kick butt and chew bubblegum. And [CTT] is all out of gum.
CTT: Yo.
CEB: seems like everyone's here. 
CEB: oh hold on. there's one more person to get.
CEB: 
CEB: sorry, everyone. 
> Cheers, love! [current timaeusTestified [CTT][2]] (Bot) is here!
CTT[2]: -> Hello
CTT[2]: -> How do I remove the bot tag
CTT[2]: -> I have flesh now 
CTT[2]: -> I am quite f#cking CHUFFED to have the flesh, too
CTT: Oh goddamn it. 
CEB: sorry. continuity requires he be here!
CEB: it's been a while since i thought that way hehe. 
CTT[2]: -> Lord bro, it's chill
CTG: yeah dont be weird hes you 
CTT: Sigh.
CTT[2]: -> My muscles, and intense STRENGTH, are apparently essential to a sick stunt we do in the future
CTT: ...
CTT: How rad is it. 
CTT[2]: -> On a scale from one to ten
CTT[2]: -> It's f#cking sick
CTT: Can I get a co-signer on this?
CEB: vriska said it's pretty cool. 
CTT: Rank it on a scale from one to ten.
CEB: eight, probably??
CTT: ...
CTT: Alright. 
CEB: @everyone get in here!
CEB: so it's coming time to fight english. 
CEB: and by english i do mean caliborn!
CEB: i've already fought this guy once, he's a fucking push over.
CEB: he started crying when i said his anime drawings were bad. 
CTT[dirk]: Wow, that's really harsh of you to say. 
CEB: i don't think it is, i can take you to see them if you want. 
CTT[dirk]: Pass.
CEB: i can get everyone in, but there's some caveats.
CEB: there's two places we're gonna be having this fight, and they're very disparate locations!
CEB: the defining aspect of the caliborn kerfuffle is a radio tower.
CEB: it's apparently earth after we've all moved on from living here, into outer space i think?
CEB: this is long after our sun has become really big and scary. 
CEB: and then caliborn grows up here!
CEB: with the clown troll.
CCG: YOU KNOW HIS NAME.
CCG: WHY NOT SAY IT INSTEAD OF DANCE AROUND HIM LIKE AN IDIOT JESTER.
CEB: i don't like him!
CCG: ... YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S ENTIRELY FAIR.
CGA: Fuck That Guy
CEB: the second part is in a dream bubble - it's currently keyed in to one of the troll session planets.
CEB: karkat would you know what to expect here?
CCG: NO, I WOULDN'T, YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN US DICK SHIT ABOUT WHERE IT IS.
CCG: IT COULD BE THE LAND OF JACK AND SHIT FOR ALL I KNOW. 
CEB: there's some horses.
CCG: OH.
CCG: IT'S TAVROS'S PLANET.
CCG: THE LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYRS.
CCG: THAT'S WHERE VRISKA'S ARMY WOUND UP.
CCG: YOU MIGHT RUN INTO HER THERE.
CEB: gotcha. 
CCG: WHO FUCKING KNOWS.
CCG: MAYBE SHE FINALLY HAD A SPLIT FUCKING SECOND OF SELF-AWARENESS AND DECIDED TO NOT COME BACK AT ALL.
CCG: SAVE US THE TROUBLE OF MAKING HERSELF THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING.
CEB: ha, fat chance.
CEB: anyway, at the start of this fight, jade, rose, dave, and i are going to "ollie outy" to this place.
CEB: he's going to deploy the ultimate house treasure that gave me these powers and he's going to target us.
CEB: i don't think we'll be in there for too long??
CEB: it seems more like a hole we'll go through rather than like, a box. 
CEB: we're not gonna be like, stuck in the house or anything.
CEB: this is where the second half of this fight happens. 
CEB: when vriska lets us out during her confrontation with him.  
CEB: we'll probably just one shot him.
CEB: and we'll zap back to your end point and we can 
CTT: Vriska believed she would take him out with a single shot as well.
CTT: And we have no reason to disbelieve her on this matter. 
CTT: That said, I have reason to believe the leadup will be tougher than the finale.
CTT: If any of you have used up your Crocker revives, let me know. 
CTT[dirk]: I have.
CGG: I can confirm this, he got his head cut off by Dave.
CTG: it wasnt great
CTT[dirk]: It was fine.
CTT[rose]: Alright, Dirk, don't die.
CTG[dave]: easier said than done 
CTG[dave]: we should maybe bring terezi
CTG[dave]: our fraymotif will help fix up any unnecessary deaths 
CTT[rose]: We shouldn't mess with what we know is going to happen.
CTT[rose]: The only person going with that isn't a human is the auto-responder sprite.
CTT[rose]: And Gamzee will be there, unhinged and unfridged.
CTG[dave]: yeah fair actually
CTT: There's also a chance we'll start getting handed heroic deaths like toy bunnies on a young child's birthday.
CTT: If any of you have any last wishes, please place your last wish into the bucket. 
CTT: #bucket 
CCG: UGH. DON'T FUCKING JOKE AROUND ABOUT THIS.
CTT: I'm being sincere. There's always a chance, you know.
CCG: YEAH, WE COULD ALL FUCKING DIE AND WE'D BE SCREWED.
CCG: IT'S A REAL TRAVESTY AND I'M SURE EVERYONE ELSE IS SCARED, TOO.
CCG: I JUST THOUGHT WE WERE PAST THE FUCKING BUCKET HUMOR THING.
CTT: I promise you I am not making a joke out of it. 
CTT: It's just a container. 
CEB: yeah, that's true good point rose!
CEB: vriska said we'd be fine.
CEB: and that if we're not. something has gone heinously wrong. 
CEB: it's a little bit... theoretical in a way that i don't really like.
CEB: but vriska has never lied to me before!
CTT: I don't believe you. 
CTG: yeah dog this one seems a little fraught 
CEB: i mean about this. 
CEB: she did get me to god-tier. 
CEB: as opposed to terezi. who killed me.
CTG: you just wont let her live that down huh 
CEB: cmon. terezi's never expressed any kind of negative feelings about killing people before. 
CTG: you are stepping on every rake in the dark knowing terezi shed holy shit 
CEB: she's not here, let me be wrong about her in peace!
CEB: hold on. someone's at my door.
CTG: ?
CEB: S1TU4T1ON 4M3L1OR4T3D
CTG: haha holy shit 
CCG: DFKGDJJKLT;;
CEB: :( 
CEB: my arm hurts now. 
CCG: WOW. ONLY YOUR ARMS ARE BROKEN. 
CCG: SHE HELD BACK PRETTY HARD HUH.
CTT[dirk]: If you don't mind, John, I'd kind of like to stop faffing the fuck about and get back on track.
CEB: right.
CEB: i can just come and pick you all up.
CTT[dirk]: Sounds like a plan to me.
CEB: be ready!
CEB: have your shoes on and everything!!